10/23/2022

When I was studying Chemistry at the University of Missouri in the 1980s, a series of events took place that left me looking for a place to stay. I ended up staying in the basement of the home of Gene and Mary Schmidtlein. How this happened is not so important as the fact that for over three years I stayed there. It was a great experience that taught me 1) how monastic values and discipline translates into married life and 2) a lot about Special Needs people.
In ca. 1950 Gene had been a monk for a few years at Conception Abbey. He left after simple vows, served in the Navy, got his Masters and Doctorate in History and went to work at Stephen’s College. He got married and had three daughters: Mary who was out of the house and starting her career as a lawyer, Norma who was ten years younger than I and had Down’s Syndrome, and Rachel, who was in junior high school. Gene and Mary were faithful parishioners at Lourdes where I lived initially, and Gene and I would play golf now and then. When I moved out of Lourdes, they offered to let me stay with them, and the Abbot approved.
St. Benedict says that monks should anticipate the needs of the brethren as the ideal form of obedience. Gene was good at anticipating the needs of his wife and the family. He was also good at using small windows of time to get things done. He said that he learned that when at the monastery when we had dead times in the schedule waiting for prayer to start or work or some activity. And he understood that time had to be set aside for prayer. For example before the children had gotten up, Gene and Mary and I would say Morning Prayer on most days. It just became part of the routine.
But the biggest lessons that I learned were from Norma. I had never been around “Special Needs” people. I naturally fell into the role of a big brother (I am the eldest of five), became her chauffer when her parents could not, got to know her friends, what ILA (Independent Living Association) was about, the Sheltered Workshop where she worked, and most of the pillars of her full life. She was rigidly committed to her routine, rising at the same time, eating at the same time, working at the same time, calling her friends at the same time, etc. She was dedicated to her friends and to her dog, Nicky. One time I made the mistake of telling her not to feed Nicky at the table, since “Nicky is just a dog.” She fiercely responded, “Nicky not just dog. Nicky FAMILY dog!” Then she proceeded to tell me, with hand moving from top to bottom, where I ranked: “Father and mother, my sisters, me, Nicky, and Fr. Albert!” There I was on the bottom, just below the dog, Nicky. It was not the last time she would speak her mind to me, and over the years we became fast friends.
A week ago Thursday Norma suddenly passed away at age 62. The family (including her 95 year old father) that had housed me for over three years asked that I come and do the funeral Saturday afternoon. Fortunately Msgr. Gaalaas, who is a spiritual director for seminarians at Conception in his retirement, was able to cover for me. So that is where I was last weekend, honoring Norma and her family. It was a beautiful funeral, and I am grateful to have been able to honor her, her family, and to grieve her loss.
I am grateful to be your pastor!

Father Albert, O.S.B.